This is probably going to be a goodbye, although I wouldn’t like to think of it as such. I’m tired of getting my hopes up and also believing that I could have delve back into the cyber dolly world after all this time, but the truth is that I no longer have an interest here anymore. If I had a working laptop then things would definitely be different, but I don’t. I realised I should probably write this post now before I forget or even change my mind. For the past two/three weeks I have not been checking up on here or anything mildly Stardoll related – pardon YouTube and occasionally the Access app. I then came to the conclusion yesterday that I may as well just completely stop altogether.
I’ve had a lot of fun on Stardoll these past few years. I finally met members who I could classify as friends. I was allowed to post on the Starblog – which at the time sounded bloomin’ amazing but it ended up just being somewhat of a burden. I can call my two projects successful after running them for a lengthy amount of time. I have met a bunch of lovely people over the years from where I have learnt a massive amount of new information, various beliefs etc. It hasn’t actually been too bad.
I blindly believed that after my break away from Stardoll that I could half-return, however everything has changed. This includes all the new fancy updates, but also I’m not in contact with anyone and my attitude towards the site is no longer the same as it was before once my addiction had stopped. I don’t feel the need to change my doll’s outfit, update membership, go and frantically buy all LE in my way, try to converse with others and so forth. It’s just not the same. I’ve changed, people have changed and the site itself has changed.
Well not exactly everything, I suppose. After my break I was receiving messages and requests from people asking for my account. Some were polite or were extremely rude and sometimes there was an occasional idiotic excuse added with it. I honestly don’t care if I am “wasting” my account. It is my time, money and efforts that are being put to so-called waste. I don’t want to fuel somebody else’s addiction to this game by giving my account away. I completely forgot how superficial this site was and then I realised I couldn’t deal with this crap again. Also the fact that people had to comment on my lack of membership gave me a kick in the teeth. People are always going to judge you on how many starpoints you have, how many rares you own and if you’re royalty or not. We very rarely judge someone on their good character or nature – that probably comes somewhere down at the bottom of the list. I’m not going to lie, having attention and gaining followers was what I wanted to do achieve when I started this way back in 2008. I even idolised the “elites” way back in the day. We were constantly told inside magazines and gossip blogs that these members were better than the majority of us because they had achieved dolly fame and stardom that was oh so hard to attain. If you were unknown your opinion basically didn’t count. Once you have “it” it keeps on feeding your online addiction by sadly hoping to please everyone and complete everything absolutely perfectly – even if that comes down to your doll’s outfit or one eency blog post. I found myself becoming a Stardoll FAQ answering machine and not having any fun on the site on my own.
I said this before but I honestly did enjoy this site and working in general. Perhaps nearing the end the only thing that was motivating me to complete stuff was knowing that I was going to please everyone else. I want to sincerely thank you for reading this blog and sticking with me through thick and thin. It has been an incredible learning experience right from the video editors to handling criticism and all that jazz. I might just check in every now and again – or if I ever get a working computer who knows if I will come back for good. I won’t be checking my YouTube or this blog for a long period of time. I do not have any social media profiles (real life and Stardoll related) that I actively use after practically closing my Twitter so I guess this is the last time you’ll hear from me in quite some time. I do have tumblr and Twitter but I just do not put them to any use. As I said before I will from time to time pop back in and out but I guess this is it for the time being.
Thank you for all the wonderful times and goodbye. For now.