4am in the morning, I do suffer from insomnia from time to time – I think I’ve mentioned that before. Instead of lying in my bed doing nothing for the next hour or so I just decided to log into my Youtube account and read through some of my recent comments for this week. I was going to discuss this earlier on yesterday evening but I was caught up with replying to Guestbook messages that I forgot.
Well I have this atrocious Youtube tutorial, I’ve received many negative comments over the pass few months or so – many have been deleted for the sake of 9 year old’s looking up their idols on Youtube and reading foul tongued comments. I inactivated comments on the video for some time before I updated it, can’t remember when now. I do recall replying to some of the comments, reading back on them – yes I was pretty snarky but when people decide Youtube as a way to insult me, it used to always tick me off. Not any more though – I’m more comfortable with what I do, beforehand I was insecure and striving to create more and more videos rather than think of the quality and improving my make-up skills. Any ways just read this:
You can see the comments for yourselves.
It does confuse when people give me “constructive criticism” i.e. Swearing at me and calling my video a piece of sh** on very old videos. How will that contribute to my future tutorials? I have learnt many lessons from these videos, after a tutorial being posted on my channel for nearly two years – do people not think I watch them back and cringe? If you want to help me in any way at all wouldn’t it make sense to watch my newest videos and tell me what I can improve on?
I never realised how we throw away such acidic language at each other online. Would you go up to a stranger in a street and call them a female dog just because you didn’t like what they were wearing? No you wouldn’t. So then why do we do this on the internet? I’m not looking for a specific answer here, just a general question.
Main point really being, when I first thought of starting up my Youtube channel – it was a way of helping people, you don’t think by doing so people are going to call you such names and say such things. Yes my old tutorials are very bad, yet so are all my old blog articles yet no-one seems to mind them? With blogging it’s all from your – or should I say my – perspective. Yes people are not going to agree with me all the time and every topic I discuss and some may lash out at me through swear words and insults just because they don’t like my opinion. Typical online behaviour in which I see these days. Where as with Youtube, creating Stardoll make-up videos isn’t pronouncing your views on certain topics, it isn’t there to be judged – it’s a tutorial for goodness sake.
When did Stardoll lose its innocence? Or when did the us members of Stardoll become so resentful of one another? Or is there just a lot of immature people online (and in real life)?
We see gossip blogs, anonymous trash blogs, scandals and anonymous comments etc. all the time – when did this become “normal” or accepted (not in some cases)?
It bothers me that certain members of the online community do not think manners exist on the internet. They do and it is important to have a little respect for everyone. Sure anger and resent can motivate us all to do things that we’ll regret in the future in certain circumstances, yet somehow I think that a minority of people do not think twice about their actions online and carry on “trolling” etc.
There so much negativity on Stardoll right now, not as whole but what I feel right now. The certain members, updates, pressure and such like – makes me wonder if dealing with all this is worth it in the end. When you know you should give yourself a break but for the five minutes that you spend away from the screen, you feel like you’re missing out on something. Even if there is all the negativity that there’s something worth while in the end but you’re not quite sure what it is, that being friendships, rewards or even that little amount of respect. I’m not talking about being distracted from revision or exams – just saying in case people jump to conclusions.
I’m going to be totally honest here, leaving Stardoll has crossed my mind over the recent weeks but I’ve been saying that for the past four years to myself and now look where I am! I’m still here xD. Just when you put yourself out there, whether that be a public blog or Youtube channel or any other outside projects out with the Stardoll.com website, at first you strive for attention – whether that be positive or negative (most likely positive) but you just want to be noticed. Then finally when you do get your small break you realise that with one there always comes another. You can’t have one certain type of attention without the other.
Maybe I’ll discuss this another day when it’s not 4am on a Saturday morning. I had no idea where I was going to go with this post – this is why I should always plan things out. Note to self. Also excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes – will edit later when I wake up at a ridiculous hour later in the afternoon.